Dreaming of Fireflies
by Tokay
Summary: Jeff can't tell Shannon three simple words. Jeff/Shannon.


Dreaming of Fireflies

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the stuff that I don't own. Please don't kill me for writing this.

**A.N**: I think I've just about read every Jeff/Shannon fic ever written and so this is basically inspired by all of them. And, now I have nothing else to say, but enjoy:) - Tokay

---

Before I left, Shannon said, "Whenever you're gone, I'm thinkin' of you. An' whenever I think of ya, I dream of ya… I'm always dreamin' of ya."

And then, he smiled and turned away shyly. When I noticed that his cheeks were suddenly all pink and puffy, I embraced him and ran a hand through his long stands of blond hair.

I went away after that. Traveling around the world with the rest of the RAW roster. I wasn't home in weeks.

At home, Shannon was all alone. After being fired from the WWE, he was working on and off with independents. He told me all about that whenever we wrote to each other while I was away. But, he never told about the days he spent in bed all day because he missed me so much and the sheets had my scent. I knew all about that, because sometimes I watched him underhandedly when he was alone missing me.

And, I never told him about the lonely nights overseas. The lights and alcohol in the major cities of world weren't enough to fill the hole in my heart. I missed Shannon with his thick southern accent, sarcastic remarks, and long blond hair…

And, I missed him most because I loved him. I loved him more than anyone I've ever loved in my life.

I could never tell him that, though. I never knew why.

---

I came home in the middle of the night. When I realized that it was after twelve, I tossed the thought of calling Shannon. By now, he'd be already tucked into bed beneath the covers, sweet sleep gracing his soft eyelashes. I didn't have it in me to disturb him, even if he'd be overjoyed to hear the news.

There was always the morning anyway. But, god tonight was beautiful. Maybe it was because I hadn't been home in such a while that I almost forgot how it looked at night. But, how the stars twinkled when the night sky was clear! They dotted the sky in patterns and I swore I could almost pin-point those constellations Matt used to point out when we were kids.

It was almost summer now. The nights were becoming long and warm again, and the lightning bugs were glowing into the darkness. They fluttered through the tall grass, lighting trails of green light from their tails.

Shannon had always loved the fireflies. When we were young, he'd wait every year with such enthusiastic anticipation for their first appearance. I teased him harmlessly for it a few times, although in truth I admired his interest in something so trivial. But, he grew up, and the magic was lost. So, last summer, I encaged one of the lightning bugs within a glass jar and left it on the nightstand on his side of the bed.

Shannon's love for the nocturnal creatures now had never been so strong.

I slipped inside the dark house without a sound and entered the bedroom in the same silence.

Just as I expected; Shannon was nuzzled in the sheets of my bed. _Our_ bed. His blond hair cascaded onto the soft pillow he rested his head like threads of silk. He was bare-chested, but I assumed he wasn't completely naked. He never was.

Without me.

I couldn't help but smile, because he slept like an angel and the only sound I could hear was his quiet breathing. He looked so soft and content, so warm and lively. I could barely contain myself from pouncing on him and throwing my arms around him.

I heard his voice pipe up in the silence, and it made my ears twitch. "Jeff…" he murmured softly in a whisper.

He was dreaming. It was a pleasant dream I assumed, because he looked so relaxed that he almost seemed to smile in pleasure. He told me in the past that I chased all the bad dreams away. I could only grin.

I undressed right there before him as he slept unknowing, and joined him gently inside the covers. I snuggled up to his sleeping form, and he never woke up once as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

---

Shannon stirred before I did. I awoke at his touch. He stared down at me, sitting up bed with his green eyes as big as marbles. Both of his arms held tightly onto me as if he didn't really believe that I was there. He needed to feel me to know I was real.

"Jeff…"

I smiled up at him as I watched his eyebrows twitch from shock to happiness. A smile of his own spread across his lips and silenced any further words from him with a tender kiss. He leaned in immediately to the contact and opened his mouth as if it were a simple reflex.

My tongue slid slowly into his mouth and carefully explored every crevasse of it. Our tongues meet and twirled together, and he moaned softly in response. When pleasure filled, I broke away and lingered off his lips.

With lips still wet from the kiss, Shannon sighed in content. He looked down at the sheet and began to fumble with it in his hands.

"I guess you came home in middle of the night, huh," he said.

"Yeah... I didn't want to wake you up—"

"I missed you," he interrupted and glanced up once or twice at me.

I smiled softly and replied, "I missed you, too."

And usually that's all Shannon needed to hear to be satisfied. That was usually enough to keep him from wanting more. But, today was different. He stared back down at the sheets and played with them again. I know what he wanted me to say now. I saw the pain in his eyes, because I never went through with it.

"Hey…" I lifted up his chin so he'd look at me with those wounded green eyes. "I…"

I wanted today to be different, too. I wanted to say it so badly, but nothing came out, so I let his chin drop again.

He only nodded in reply, because he expected it. Because, I was only a disappointment to everyone. To him.

Shannon swallowed and said, "I love you," but he was only talking to the sheets. I couldn't and wouldn't hear it.

There was then a daunting silence, and I couldn't bare it. So, I tried to tell him all about my time away from home with RAW, but it was his turn to not hear it.

Shannon was swimming in hurt and I couldn't take it anymore. I took him by his upper arms with slight force—enough for him to know I was serious—and his head snapped up to face me.

"Shannon," I said, but he tried to turn away. "Listen," I shook him gently until he looked back at me. "I can't do this to you anymore."

He said nothing in reply, but his face began to contort into almost a scowl. I knew that he wanted to say, "Damn right you can't. I won't take it anymore."

"Shannon, I… I love you!" But, instead of relief, I almost felt as I just threw it in his face with a 'there you go!' So, I let go of him and just stared at him.

He had never looked more beautiful, even as tears formed in his eyes and suddenly his cheeks were all pink and puffy again.

I took him into my arms, and held him close against me whether he wanted it or not. I needed to feel him. It was only then that I could speak from the every essence of my heart and tell him about all of the love I denied him. Because, it was there all the whole time.

"I love you, Shannon…"

_Fin._


End file.
